Ways of feeling

Year 1919 saw the release of a silent footage and images, bravely captured by Frank Hurley during one of the years long Antarctic expeditions he took part in as a young man. As he used the most innovate processes and equipment available at the time, he created timeless documents through his skilful composition and a warmth of funny narration about a rather troublesome voyage of discovery.

John Berger, in his many insightful writings, noticed that, historically and culturally, men are those who discover, while women are those who want to be discovered. What I take from his statement, though, is that we all share a desire for discovery. Whether we look inwards or outwards, it all leads to a better understanding of our own selves and the diversity of the humankind.

ways of seeing

John Berger, 1972

In the recent months I have been drawn to nature, through which I am discovering my inner landscape and the relationships of the organic environment with my own body and mind. As I have been searching for ways in which I can tune myself into my own flow, I focused on the body of water, that in the past year provided me with soothing and energising waves, helping me deal with my being’s fluctuating emotions.

rites & passages

Minor White, 1978

To many of us our own feelings can be confusing or overwhelming, as they arise as a response to the events we go through. As I have been observing highs and lows of the tides cycling over their lunar days, I realised that emotions are also temporal. Sometimes they sweep us of our feet, as if we had stepped into a strong current. Sometimes they rise gradually, like the flow of the vast body of water.

Either way, our feelings are indicators. They serve as a sort of natural navigation, helping us figure out whether we are acting in agreement with our gut, or not. And just like a sailor or a surfer learns to read the state and condition of the water, so are we able to learn to read our emotions. By observing our internal feelings we gather the necessary information to steer our actions toward what feels good, what feels right. What is so valuable about human emotions, is that they are connected to who we are. They are personal, and just like the flow of water they are unique to their place of occurrence, unique to you.

“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom. ”

— Terry Pratchett

The body - exploring the nude

sandy wrinkles of the waterside
moulded by the breathing tide
raise up and then subside.
different each day; smiling,
shouting or sleeping - feeling,
the river bed, you moody being.

During the past few months of single travels I’ve started to see and appreciate the landscape as a holding place of wisdom and nutrition. The streams and rivers, the seas - the body of water, seem like veins through which the distribution of life happens. The flow of the water is the flow of life. All connected, with no end and no beginning, infinite and cyclical.

In my current project I am focusing on the body of the planet, its element that is the river bed. Breathing in and breathing out through the gravitational forces of the moon phases, its surface is forever changing and exposes it’s true texture at low tides. The tensions on the surface of the skin of this part of the Earth form a magnificent imprint of what happens beneath the visible.

I see the river as a living being, adapting to the changing environment, affected by both inner and outer elements. When the water drains out the skin reveals its fibre like texture, serving as a memory of an expansive energy that it came to contact with.

ABSTRACT : DANCE

“If I could tell you what it meant, there would be no point in dancing it.”

— Isadora Duncan

I remember the first time I innocently let go of my developing ego and disappeared into music, dancing on the floor of the first club I went to as a high schooler.
I remember the dark environment I woke up to, with colourful lights in the distance, and one central bluish light shining in the middle of the dancing crowd, where I was standing. There was this space of light and colour in the darkness in front of me; the awakening I would compare to the one after a deep meditation. Relaxed and serene coming back into the now slightly unfamiliar reality. 

Photography is often described as capturing the moment but what I've been looking for is something more present, a feeling, as something more familiar to what has been altered by the fading memories. I want to see the movement, the vibration, the presence of sensation. 
When I reach for abstraction I often find the meaning more accurately but there is a distortion in removing a piece from it's entirety, abstracting it from reality, in order to make it fit more truthfully.  

When I dance I feel all one. There's no belonging, there's no me and them; there's warmth, energy, intimacy and togetherness. 

A dichotomy of looking for closeness in abstraction.

PHOTOGRAPHY AS A FLOW

It is often difficult for the common human to make peace with the changing tides, the branches of the trees that we look after breaking off, the sun going down when we most enjoy the daytime. But the nature of things that live is unstoppable. Uncontrollable. There's the need for appreciation and trust in all that is, all that comes and goes. Things happen as they should do. Things flow because they live.

We take our days for granted. When we open up our eyes we are faced with a miracle of another breath, another day of wonder. Each and everyone of us has a path, which we make by simply walking it. Being an observer allows one to be the maker. The maker of life, the maker of things. The art at it's easiest. By letting go, letting things in and flow, we take the path of least resistance and close the gap between the I and the I. 

“All human knowledge takes the form of interpretation.”

— Walter Benjamin

To see one's life in it's fullness it to trust that all the stars are scattered as they should be. Only then can we open up to the possibilities that we didn't even expect, as the forces that we don't comprehend with our human senses, lay down the order in which we can spot the stars. To live is to discover one's talents, one's unique way of perception, one's original curiosity. 

As I find my own peace and path through the visual art, I reflect on the connections between the subtleties of the natural order, and the inner world that is always mirrored in the environment. Photography is one of such expressions. I allow myself to observe that which is right in front of me, and find the meanings flushing in front of my very own eyes.

life is the chemistry that flows
revealing images as it goes
through agitation
tiny twists and big swirls
into the stable waters of fixing trays

MAKING AND SHARING WORK

It's so easy to post our work online nowadays. It can take few seconds to put ourselves out there. To share our work, our perspective through our own unique language. For some it may be pictures, for others music or lyrics. I find my passions through photography and one of the themes I have been focusing on with my camera is music and musicians.
Having photographed them for years I am grateful to all those who let me in to their rehearsing studios and who allowed me to capture them in their element on stage. Knowingly or just through the spontaneity of the moment. 

One image that I rediscovered recently came from the Acid Mothers Temple gig at Sneaky Pete's in Edinburgh, late 2017.
When Higashi Hiroshi overtook the sound waves with his fingers and a theremin it made me realise how photographers and musicians practices relate to one another. It always fascinated me knowing that an artist tried many instruments, different music genres, techniques, new and old processes and approaches to arrive at their own. Perhaps that is the way to finding your instrument, one that fits the body and senses perfectly. Many proficient creatives go to the extend of creating their own thing, sometimes it's completely new and sometimes a hybrid of already familiar things. 

This 'revelation' helped me settle a little more peacefully in my own practice.  I love trying old techniques, seeing where photography actually came from. By getting better at the hands on processes I am able to understand my field much better and even if I can't see yet how I fit into this beautifully creative world, I am able to note down the areas which stimulate my senses. 

When Higashi Hiroshi overtook the sound waves with his fingers and a theremin it made me realise how photographers and musicians practices relate to one another. It always fascinated me knowing that an artist tried many instruments, different music genres, techniques, new and old processes and approaches to arrive at their own. Perhaps that is the way to finding your instrument, one that fits the body and senses perfectly. Many proficient creatives go to the extend of creating their own thing, sometimes it's completely new and sometimes a hybrid of already familiar things. 

This 'revelation' helped me settle a little more peacefully in my own practice.  I love trying old techniques, seeing where photography actually came from. By getting better at the hands on processes I am able to understand my field much better and even if I can't see yet how I fit into this beautifully creative world, I am able to note down the areas which stimulate my senses. 

“We look for reassurance not revelation. ”

— Bill Brandt

Some might argue this inconsistent approach is a waste of time or lack of direction but what I see is a constant discovery that is already laying a path. Not knowing where it's going is not the worst or thing to focus on. I appreciate the possibilities and only wish I had a continuous motivation to doing all the things I want to experience. That is how we realise our own potential, through our own language and our own revelations. 

INTIMACY IS COMPLEX 3/3

 For the last book, in my Intimacy is complex series for GSA, I executed a little experiment. I set an account on a hook up website and I simply logged on now and then to check if anyone would think of me anything. 
Soon enough I started getting messages inviting me to join couples, single rendezvous and some more odd requests.
I then collected few of those encounters along with some images of the condoms I previously made and text that was inspired by a song written and performed by Abra, "Needsumbody". It all came together in a visual anticipation, shock and ecstasy.  I followed with a screenshot of my email spam folder. All filled with naughty information. Dig in!

One hand made set only. 

INTIMACY IS COMPLEX 2/3

For the next book I used the sexual ugliness that tortures populations of many cultures through religious repressions and political standings. 

The images on the pages of this, like all the other ones, hand stitched series get sticky and unpleasant. Underlining the sinful and fearful side of the condom and therefore sexual act. 

The use of quotes from some of the books I was reading while researching for this project, leave a lot to questions. Not tying directly with the feel of the images, but merely suggesting a direction of thought, they allow the viewer to make their own suggestions and ask the questions that spine from their own experiences. 

INTIMACY IS COMPLEX 1/3

Following on my Intimacy is complex project I decided to look even deeper under the sheets and explore...the condom. 

In the art school there is this freedom that you would be foolish not to use to your own advantage, or just sheer satisfaction. Perhaps it's an opportunity to make a personal point too.

This book focuses on the sensuality and proposes the look out on sex as an individual freedom yet taking it into account as a healthy balance to life.

For this series I played with condoms. Something we think of only in terms of necessity or a barrier, be it good or unpleasant. I played with various samples, scrutinising the sensory elements in them by extending, stretching as well as freezing and thawing. 

MENTAL FLOSS

One of the very first project at Glasgow School of Art was a RESEARCH. 

We were all given an object, mostly cheap, easy to get to item. Mine was DENTAL FLOSS. 

While it was hard for me to decipher how to create something worthy of my future portfolio, I understood that, in order to develop as an artist and benefit from my time in this creative environment, I had to let go of my ego wanting to do my best and simply try out new techniques, new medium of expression. 

In order to make the transition easier on my soul, I decided, after taking loads of photos - obviously, to prepare a hand made book. It was stitched with dental floss and includes answers to three of the questions I asked random audience. I collated their thoughts on relationships, their perception of themselves in their environment, as well as little deviation on their secrets in respect to others, in a form of simply printed words that transform the photographs and give them their meaning. 

Hand made - copy of one only.

I also made a little video. 

As a new student it took some tears to get on my feet. Friends who already study at GSA came with a helping hand explaining that it is a time for experimentation and creating crappy stuff. That's the only way to get better. 
I nevertheless felt quite worthless and wanted to literally throw up my whole existence, my whole being, reverse my every step, my birth and so on. I'm still uncertain of the outcomes of my studies but I now know that it's only up to me to use this time to be joyful about expressing my creativity. All I have to do is do what I love. What could be better?