AFTERIMAGE

“No man has the right to dictate what other men should perceive, create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves, their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit.”

 Ansel Adams

To be with life, but not of it. 

There are a few things that come to my mind when I decide to change my ways, when I decide to be the best version of me. 

One is the past. This is the first thing that comes to my mind. Something that I've picked up as a bunch of experiences that ought to define me. We have history in schools, that never ever interested me. There is something important in remembering when we came from, what makes our culture and to help us feel grateful of the current privileges. 

However, the ways I learned to look at my own past is through a lense of successes and so called failures. 

In the past few years I have learned to notice, though, that the past is only something that has brought me to where I am now. Sure, we I can beat myself for the past when I don't like where I am. This seems like a never ending game, though. It seems like I'm a child that can only understand the present and 

So much more important than looking for advice on today or tomorrow in the past is to look into the future. It was only within the last year that I've discovered that I can dream. I gradually recognized that I can imagine things and that I can think of things that I like, that I want. What's more, I've realised that I not only can I look at my wishes and my desires, I ought to see them as possibilities. This is exactly the opposite of how I used to use my mind to feel for what I wanted. 

This discovery made me feel both ridiculous for not knowing it before, and also so happy, that I can actually want things and I don't have to feel bad about it. Now I know, that it is one of the most crucial ways to adapt for a fulfilling life. How lucky, if you've known it all your life!

Not only, did this revelation allow me to see life more as an opportunity for the many many feelings I want to experience, but I also started seeing others and myself in a completely different light. 

I realised that I shouldn't feel worse than others for not having this or that skill, for not doing this or that that they are doing, but that I can and should feel inspired by those who 

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